Use your technology to practice simple habits of better parenting. Practice them. Master them. Then, reset once again. Mindful each and every day.
There have been days when I went to bed at night obsessing about a perceived parenting fail or two...or more...throughout the day. I would fall asleep with a heavy heart but vow to do better the very next day.
"We love you always and forever...every second of every day. Speak kind words WITH kindness. Act out of love with family members...help and show them you care in any way you wish. Play and be playful, that is the joy of childhood." - Mom
Sometimes, that next morning, I would follow the prescription I had in mind:
Play mellow (but sunny) music before I even enter the kitchen
Look at the kids' baby photos before I face them and their morning angst...or tumble of questions. Let that early love affair with tiny fingers and toes prime my perspective!
POUR COFFEE. Every parent knows 80% of this job is problem solving. Problem solving before coffee, for me, is a challenge. So I need to be more strategic about these mornings b/c nothing is changing the habits of my three children.
I love me some yoga, thank you Blue Lotus and Jen Bluestone (xo). But mornings might require some work in the meditation dept. I haven't gone there yet. For now, a quick stretch from within the wrappings of my sheet is a start. Just take a moment to THINK before you SPEAK, Maggie, THINK before you SPEAK. Old dog, new tricks.
I've learned a trick through the years that seems to be serving me well...it's a minor little life hack I want to share.
Those reminders and alerts in your calendar function on your phone are pretty handy! A few months ago I wrote,
"Be CALM. The kids just want to be loved and understood. Expect them to make mistakes and be there to teach them."
This morning, I glanced at my reminder and realized I've got the "be calm" element DOWN. Ok, mostly down. I'm more focused on teaching than I used to be, and I'm less reactive to their mistakes.
Amazingly, I felt a little burst of pride that in my mid 40's I've learned something new and could take on another parenting challenge. Let's set a new goal.
So as of this morning, my new reminder reads:
"SMILE & hug. Love first. DO with the kids. Say yes unless you have to say no."
While my head might be filled with a running to-do list or simply stuck in the clouds, the kids deserve a mom that smiles...actively smiles...at them in the morning. Maybe I sound like an absolute bear to even have to REMIND MYSELF to do that, but to be honest, I'm wired quite somberly in the morning bc my night owl tendencies keep me up too late. And after I take the time to hug each child...before packing lunches, cleaning the dinner dishes left in the sink, or reciting the after-school plan for the day, I'm put in a warm and fuzzy place because I'm connecting with that which is MOST important to me and my life.
So go ahead and let tech be on your side!
Sometimes we all need a little nudge to do the right thing.
For now...
Maggie xo
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